Saturday, March 26, 2011

How I Met Burger King

This may or may not have really happened. All names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Picture THIS:

Med student comes out to give me report on a new patient he just saw and the report I got went something like this:

Student: Well, first of all he says his name is Burger King.

Me: Burger King?

Student: yes, apparently we are supposed to know this already.

Me: let's go meet this guy

Me to patient: Hi, I'm Jane, the nurse practitioner with the hospitalist service, I will be seeing you today; the med student gave me a report that you were having some chest pain.

Patient:  Yes, I was, but that ativan is all I need, I been telling the ER and now him and now you, that's all I need. And you know I'm Burger King, right?

Me: (further into the history) - do you do any street drugs?

Patient: Me? Hell, I've done them all in the past, not anymore though, not since 2011. No, really, it's been a long time, not since I became Burger King. I used to do it all, pot, special K; HORSE TRANQUILIZERS - but I don't drive when I do them.

This was the point where I burst into laughter and said THANK GOD FOR THAT!

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