This may or may not have really happened. All names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Med student comes out to give me report on a new patient he just saw and the report I got went something like this:
Student: Well, first of all he says his name is Burger King.
Me: Burger King?
Student: yes, apparently we are supposed to know this already.
Me: let's go meet this guy
Me to patient: Hi, I'm Jane, the nurse practitioner with the hospitalist service, I will be seeing you today; the med student gave me a report that you were having some chest pain.
Patient: Yes, I was, but that ativan is all I need, I been telling the ER and now him and now you, that's all I need. And you know I'm Burger King, right?
Me: (further into the history) - do you do any street drugs?
Patient: Me? Hell, I've done them all in the past, not anymore though, not since 2011. No, really, it's been a long time, not since I became Burger King. I used to do it all, pot, special K; HORSE TRANQUILIZERS - but I don't drive when I do them.
This was the point where I burst into laughter and said THANK GOD FOR THAT!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The Hartikle Hernia in my Sockaphus...and Other Appalachian Afflictions